Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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