i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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