I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
