Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
