All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
