I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize