I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
