corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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