There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
