But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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