Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
