I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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