I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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