ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
