Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
