You work out of a Hotel?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
