They should really pass out barf bags in church
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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