New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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