I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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