the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
