Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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