oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
