she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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