Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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