Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
