Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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