sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
