thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
