Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She's the barista slut.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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