I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
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