i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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