I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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