ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
