i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
