It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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