wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
there is puke in my bra ... again
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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