i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
