If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
