i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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