when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
