This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize