Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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