id be glad to
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
