K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
