"it" just moved
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
