from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
