Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
