she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
