I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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