My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
