Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
