The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
