Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
