I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Pappa wants mamma naked
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
