why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
