Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
