I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
