He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dick very happy bro
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
