Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
