yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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