This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
