Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
